This new chemo has an all new set of side effects and honestly I think that the devil has managed to get me down this week but I promise you he did not win and God did prevail. Seemed I fought all week to keep a positive attitude and some moments were better than others! I told Wes this morning seems I have so little fight left in me probably because I am so tired and can't seem to feel good. I keep in mind I only have 3 more treatments left and then I can begin the uphill battle of recovery but I am looking forward to that.
Chemo seems to be attaching my "gut" and it hurts a lot when I eat so of course I am reluctant to eat very much of anything but that is a mind game as well as I know I must keep up my strength. I remind myself daily that I am almost there and I must keep fighting because I have a busy schedule and much to do. Thank goodness for a purpose to keep my mind off myself and my eyes fixed on God and what He has for me. I realize that as I feel bad it is because I find myself focusing on me and not where I should be and I look to Him again! Pray that I can stay focused on my Jesus and be positive. I don't like it when I get down because that isn't good for anyone around me or me. I want to feast on His promises for me and stay focused on the one who carries me daily. Lord take my hand, pick me up and let's get this thing done. Praise Him for His daily love and care!
You, Lord God, are with me, You are mighty to save. You will take great delight in me. You will quiet me with Your love, You will rejoice over me with singing! (Zeph. 3:17) Lord, your peace covers me and I hear your sweet voice singing to me-it is beautiful.
God is good------------------------all the time! susan
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