It has been forever since I have posted and my kids remind me often that everyone will think something is wrong. Just the opposite, I am doing great and just continue to get stronger and stronger everyday. I still fight fatigue but that is really the only side effect of the treatments. They told me that it would take a year to get back to feeling normal (whatever that is) and of course I thought not me I will bounce back quickly. They were correct even though I have a hard time admitting that. I poop out much quicker and don't bounce back nearly as fast as I would like to. I have added more hours at work and really feel better about that. I definitely need a quick nap after work and then I can finish the day better, for me and everyone else-especially Wes!
My hair is slowly growing back, about a 1/2 inch long now. It is very white and has some dark blotches here and there, frankly it looks like a Dalmatian dog but at least it's hair and I will take it! I have already told my sweet hair dresser that as soon as it gets long enough get the dye ready-I refuse to have grey hair even though I am an old lady. Seems it grows so slow-I remember when I had to go to get my hair cut and colored every 3 weeks and I thought it grew so fast but really when you are starting all over it takes FOREVER. Maybe by the summer I will feel more comfortable and can not wear these precious little wigs I have (praise God for them though). My eyebrows have come back, sparse as they are,and my eyelashes too. I still glue those cute false eyelashes on daily and have become an expert at drawing on my eyebrows. Amazing the talents one cultivates because of the side effects of chemo.
I also purchased a "funky" darker, and longer wig to make things a little more interesting. It does break up the monotony of having the same look everyday. I figured I had many more months ahead of no hair so I might as well have a look that my own hair would never do. Wes loves it and thinks he has a new woman. He continues to be such a wonderful support to me in this journey, I often wonder if he tires of all this but he never complains and is such a great helpmate. I love him so!!!!!!!!!!!
Another side effect is bruses under my fingernails, not all of the but most. They seem to be bruised underneath and some of them seem to have spots where they have lifted from the skin. Thank you Lord for nail polish, which I have worn for years, that covers the ugliness. Hopefully time will heal that and they will someday return to normal.
Our Christmas was wonderful, wild and crazy. All the kids and spouses were home and of course our sweet Shiloh was such a joy. Santa came and the house was filled with loudness, laughter, and lots of fun and food. It is so hard to see everyone go and the house is so big and quiet again until next time. I thank God for every second we have with them and look forward to the next time.
Speaking of Christmas, my sweet husband surprised me with the gift of an Alaskan Cruise in July. What a surprise it was and I can't wait! We leave July 1 and for 7 days we will join some long time friends and see Alaska. I just hope I don't freeze, just plan to layer up and enjoy every second.
I go back to the doctor for counts and update on February 15. Have many questions about followups and how to avoid having to take this journey again. I learned so much but I certainly don't want to revisit again. I look back and realize at the time I never realized how incredibly hard the journey was. I guess you just get through it and do what you have to do. I realize above all that I was carried through the whole journey by my Jesus, and I thank God for that. I never would have made it without Him. He has given me a whole new ministry as so many have come to me with the same journey or names have been given me and I am able to talk with them and tell them what I learned and how to make their journey perhaps a little easier. Funny how He always calls us to share what we have learned with others and let them know that they too can be carried by the same Savior. We must always give back-never keep it to ourselves.
Lord God, it is because You love me and keep Your Word that You brought me out with a mighty hand and redeemed me from the land of slavery, from the power of the Pharaoh of this world. Help me to absolutely know therefore that you, the Lord my God, are God, keeping Your covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love You and keep Your commands (Deut. 7:8-9)
Lord, I have the assurance of Your Word that after I have suffered a little while You, the God of all grace who called me to Your eternal glory in Christ, will restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast. (1 Pet. 5:10)
Lord, bring on the restoration and strongness, I am sooooooooooo ready.
God is good----------------all the time!
