Our new grandbaby is one month old today and so sweet! He was born on Jan. 9 at 1:50 am after a lot of work by his mom, our sweet daughter, Melissia Hoke. We are so proud of her, Josh and especially of Sebastian "Bass" Outlaw Hoke. He weighed in at a hefty 9 lbs. 7 oz. and 22 1/2 in. long. He now weighs over 10 lbs and has grown 2 inches in length. is such a good baby and Melissia and Josh are great parents. Sue Sue and Pop Pop are having fun holding and spoiling that boy. Being double grandparents is wonderful!!!!!
We have another blessing on the way, due around the first of March. Weslee and Zach await the birth of number two baby girl, Zela Lynn. Number one daughter is excited too about her new baby sister. Shiloh talks about baby Zela all the time. These old grandparents are just waiting for the phone to ring and off we go to help. Can't wait!
As for me, I am doing great and continuing to improve and get my strength back day by day. Transplant does take a long time to bounce back from and I have not gotten back to where I was before this journey began. The doctors have told me repeatedly not to become discouraged and to take it easy. It is so hard not to go full speed ahead on the days I feel really strong but I always pay for that in the following days if I don't do what I know is right. I have decided I am a slower learner than I thought because I continue to make the same mistake of overdoing again and again. I just want to be right in the middle of all the hustle an bustle again and not have to pay for that in the days afterward. Once again I look to God to lead me into the things I can do and hold me back from overdoing! What a comfort to know that when we don't do whats best for us our Heavenly Father prepares the road for us, we just have to pay attention and follow His lead.
I continue to have stomach problems and haven't gotten my appetite yet. The loss of appetite is not a bad thing but I will say it is weird not having a desire to eat because that is so unlike me. I really feel like this all is due to the anti rejection drugs that I am still taking but I am blessed to have drugs that can help my body along in this process. I told the doctor I have always had problems with my stomach and digestion process and the chemo just finished that off and ruined them forever. He just laughed. Chemo is truly the gift that keeps on giving-haha.
My hair has not come in yet and I am stressing over that. I keep thinking that the follicles have been permanently destroyed and I may never have hair again. That chemo was just unbelievably strong and will take some time to get over-again I am impatient (imagine that). Meanwhile I have a great wig and wonderful false lashes and am really good at drawing on brows so I can feel comfortable out among the world. While I am sharing side effects of chemo I can tell you it's not good for nails either. Two of my nails on my right hand have begun to let go from the base up, that is not fun and of course it looks so bad. Thank you Lord for a great nail tech who can cover up the ugly nails with shellac and make them look beautiful until they repair themselves.
As you can tell from all the rantings in the paragraphs preceding aftereffects of chemo are not fun and are ongoing for months to follow. YUCK
All of that is truly trivial and counts for nothing but vanity, which I struggle with, and I am sure God is showing me what really is important to this life. The really important thing is that God has given me the opportunity to continue living and making a difference in the world around me. How extremely thankful I am for that and how I pray He will show me the difference I can make! What a blessing to be able to return to my wonderful church and the responsibilities I have there (so thankful I still feel needed). How precious to be with my wonderful friends and laugh and share with them and just be with them. What a blessing to be able to return to work and see my sweet bosses and coworkers and be welcomed with open arms as always. How sweet it is to see my clients who I have helped for years and to hear that I was missed. How precious to be able to read and sing with my sweet Shiloh and have her hug and cuddle with me and love the feel of her arms around my neck and her sweet voice saying, Sue Sue. I love being able to hold Bass and listen to the sweet baby noises and imagining he really does recognize me and is smiling. What a blessing to look forward to holding that new little baby Zela and getting to know her over the coming years. How wonderful to be able to enjoy my great children and plan for the future and all the coming vacations, holidays, gatherings, future weddings, children, and everything that comes with being a family. Laughing together, crying together, praising our Jesus together, and just loving one another! Most of all, the added years I have been granted with my sweet husband to plan, share, love, and just plain enjoy every minute with him by my side. What a joy he is in my life and I am thankful beyond words that God has allowed me to share more of my life with him. Above all of these blessings I have been allowed to continue is the most precious one of all, a continued relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. To be able to give all the glory to Him for this journey He has set me on and walks with me daily. As always my prayer is that I can make Him proud to call me His child and that He can be seen in my daily walk! To Him be all the glory and honor in this journey! This is my prayer.
Once again I go to His precious word for comfort. In Eph. 3:16-2, my prayer, "God, I pray that out of Your glorious riches You will strengthen me with power through Your Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. And I pray that I, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-----that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to You who are able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine, according to Your power that is at work within me, to You be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!" Amen.
God is good---all the time!
