On day 5 of hospital stay! I am finished with the first round of the bad chemo that has side effects you don't want to hear about.. Made it through okay and my hair is still intact and am praying for a miracle in that area! I am hooked up to the other chemo that is killing my bone marrow on a 24/7 schedule.
My counts continue to fall but I haven't had to have a blood transfusion and platelets for two days but I don't know if that is good or bad because they want the bone marrow dead and not producing. My dear friends continue to line up to give blood and platelets so they will be fresh and better. I can't say enough about our support that God has provided for us-so sweet and loving and giving and eager to do whatever is necessary to hold our family up. How sweet is our Jesus to supply that!
We all are holding up well. Weslee and my sweet Shiloh are here although I am not allowed to see Shiloh and that is hard but she holds up her PopPop and that has been great for Wes. He needed someone at home to cook for him and keep the wash done and Weslee does that great. During the day she can come sit with me and keep me company. Wes was doing so good but I know it put a strain on him and trying to keep up with his job as well. Weslee really picks up the slack as Melissia is still in school and I remember how overwhelming that is, she always comes to see me after school though no matter how trying or tireing her day was. Marshall will be here at the end of the week and all my chickens will be home and that is conforting. We all meet storms together much better. I am so blessed with wonderful children and the best man on the face of the earth. The girls husbands have been so sweet as I know they are taking back seats in all of this. They have been wonderful-Zach and Josh yall are the best son-in-laws ever and I love you both dearly.
Wes does look so tired and worried. We are all just wondering what lies around the corner for this journey. It is just so strange not to know what to expect with treatment or results but that only makes us more dependent on our God for guidance for the doctor's and for my life! I pray we will continue to hold to Him in this overwhelming storm. Some days it seems so huge and and so much bigger that any of us, which it is and that is so scarry! Seems the doctors can't get us information fast enough and the internet is just too scarry. Wes does understand all the information they give us-I on the other hand am completely ignorant and understand very little of the scientific explanations and outcomes. I so need him here when Dr. Carr comes so he can understand for both of us. Thank goodness she understands that and is so gracious.
I feel more fatigued today and just kind of out of body-just off as Weslee says but I am reminded that five days of straight chemo will do that to a person. I pray I can continue to hold up and not get so low-I so want to be functional and be able to fight as the Lord holds me up!
I so want to be a warrior and call on the Lord to hold me up as He did with the warriors of the Old Testament. Lord hold my arms as I fight this battle with your strength and dignity. I pray I can overcome this invador as I fight with you by my side. I do feel you carrying me more and more each day. Thank you that I know you are always there no matter where I am or what I face. Make me strong!
Love this verse out of Isaiah 40:28-31, You, my Lord, are the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. You will not grow tired or weary, and Your understanding no one can fathom. You give strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but when I hope in you, O, Lord my strength will be renewed. I will soar on wings like eagles; I will run and not grow weary, I will walk and not faint.
Jeremiah 32:17 Ah, Sovereign Lord, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for You!
God is good---------------all the time!
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