Well, I made it through the first treatment week of chemo. My middle child, Weslee, pointed out that I said I had 13 more treatments left and that was definitely wrong. What can I say except that I was on drugs. I meant 13 more weeks but really that was even wrong. Oh well, I am old, crippled, cancerous, and on drugs so I have all sorts of excuses for making a mistake. All I know is PRAISE GOD I MADE IT THROUGH THE FIRST WEEK! I can honestly tell you this is not for sissies because this week sucked to put it bluntly.
The effects of all the chemo began on Monday night and thank God for nausea meds or I have no doubt I would have thrown up continually for 3 solid days. It does keep you from throwing up but the nausea feeling never goes away. The headache stayed until Tuesday evening and finally subsided. Tuesday I went to work a half a day and was glad I had something to take my mind off the yukky feeling-again thank you Lord for understanding bosses who love me! I went and had a white blood cell booster shot on Wednesday morning and then went to lunch with some friends and didn't take my nausea medicine until 2:30 and that was a huge mistake that they had warned me about. I never really got that under control until I woke up on Thursday morning.
Thursday morning dawned better than the day before and I could go to work again and worked a little longer and went home to rest. Today I feel wonderful, like a human again. It is wonderful to be able to eat something without the thought of force feeding myself. There were moments this week that I could not put anything in my mouth and swallow because I just felt bad. This stuff really wipes you out and zaps every ounce of energy you even thought you had. They said it is straight poison and I must remember that-it will all be worth it when its over!
I still must remind myself to drink water and go to the bathroom-what a schedule-you'd think I was an old person.
I must prepare myself for when everything begins to progressively build in my system from one treatment to another, it may get worse, but "It's not eternal". One day I will look back and this will all be a blur-ready for that all ready.
Will hold to this scripture from my devotional this morning from John16:22-24. Now is my time of grief but I will see You again, and I will rejoice, and no one will take away my joy (not even chemo). In that day I will no longer ask You anything. I can ask and I will receive, and my joy will be complete.
Isaiah 58:14 I will find joy in You, my Lord. You will cause me to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance You have given my spiritual forefathers.
Father I pray you never let me forget that joy you have given me deep within my soul. The joy I can reach down and pull up from the depths, even on days that I am thinking, why am I doing this. Thank you for the joy that is far above any understanding that we have as mere humans.
God is good-----------all the time! susan
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